Midlife Musings January

Life Lately, Gentle Goal Setting, Ask A Therapist, Giveaway

Welcome to the January edition of my cozy corner on Substack!

I’m honored to be back inside your inbox with this latest edition of Midlife Musings and hope it will offer a dose of soul balm. As mentioned in this welcome post, monthly I’ll share midlife inspiration through this newsletter, plus weekly releases of Tranquility du Jour Season 2 podcasts on all things midlife.

Inside this month’s edition, you’ll find:

• a regular peek into life lately

• ideas on gentle goal setting

• an Ask A Therapist Q&A

• a ticket giveaway to see Brooke Shields speak about her new book on aging

• AND a video playlist with nearly 70 videos.

And now, let’s continue into our eleventh edition of Midlife Musings. I’m delighted you’re here! Please hit reply and let me know what’s resonating most.

PS I hope you enjoyed your previous Midlife Musings newsletters and have a chance to peruse additional posts waiting for you here, too.

PPS Clicking the heart at the top or bottom of this email makes it easier for others to find Midlife Musings. 💗 Oh, and it also warms my heart!

PPPS For a dose of midlife inspo, check out these fun features on The Midst, The Empress, and a podcast interview with Broche Ballet on ballet in midlife!

Life Lately: A Peek Inside

Please join me in taking a pause to consider your own life lately: highlights, observations, and challenges.

What I’m working on:

• Welcoming the Coterie into our yearlong adventure

• Advanced Tranquility book proposal edits

• Co-hosting a Pigs & Pugs event on National Pig Day

What I’m loving:

• Sending piles of snail mail with a tea bag tucked inside

• Sharing inspiring interviews in Season 2 of the podcast

• Nightly baths in Epsom salts

What I’m consuming:

• Watching Shrinking

• Listening to This is Menahan Street Band on Spotify

• Reading The Vagus Nerve Reset by Anna Ferguson

What I’m wearing:

• Full length leg warmers every day

• Moisturizing skincare for sensitive skin—love La Roche-Posay

• Layers of TDJ topped with a gifted pink wrap

What I’m noticing:

• A need to nourish my nervous system

• Time’s flow and how it impacts grief

• The joy of a midday savasana to get grounded

Your turn. What are you working on, loving, consuming, wearing, and noticing?

Gentle Goal Setting

Reflections on a new year.

As we ease into this fresh start, the pressure to craft grand resolutions can feel overwhelming. The endless “New Year, New You” messaging often overlooks the beauty of the lives we’ve already built and the value of making changes that honor where we are now. Personally, I’ve enjoyed a soft on-ramp into 2025 and slowly feel like I’m just starting to settle in. You?

In midlife, goal-setting isn’t about reinventing the wheel. It’s about refining the journey, nurturing what matters, and leaning into the power of small steps. Let’s explore a few ways to approach your 2025 goals with tranquility. Psst, I also shared eight tips here as 2024 came to a close.

1. Begin with Reflection

Before setting goals, take time to reflect on the year behind you. What brought you joy? What drained your energy? What lessons did you learn? By starting with these questions, you can identify what to carry forward and what to release.

Journal Prompts:

• What are three things I’m most proud of from the past year?

• What areas of my life feel most aligned with my values?

• Where am I craving growth, healing, or transformation?

2. Set Heart-Centered Intentions

Rather than focusing on external achievements, consider goals that nurture your inner world. For example:

• Prioritize self-care and create more time for yourself.

• Deepen meaningful relationships.

• Explore creative outlets that spark joy.

• Establish boundaries to protect your peace.

Remember, goals don’t have to be “big” to be impactful. Small, consistent steps lead to profound change over time.

3. Choose a Word or Theme for the Year

Sometimes, a single word or phrase can guide your intentions more effectively than a list of resolutions. Think of a word that encapsulates how you want to feel or live in the coming year—peace, vitality, curiosity, balance, or reinvention. Let this word serve as your North Star.

During the art journaling portion of last week’s Coterie Seasonal Soirée, my word for the year crystallized as I reflected on the images I’d selected for my two-page spread (shown below). That word is healing—a theme that resonates after a challenging past month filled with a biopsy, having a schedule turned upside down, multiple flights, and a funeral, to name a few.

4. Break It Down

Once you’ve chosen a goal or intention, break it into smaller, actionable steps. For instance:

• If your goal is to cultivate more creativity, start with a 10-minute daily journaling practice or enroll in an art class.

• If you want to move more, begin with a gentle yoga session twice a week. Here’s a nine-minute sun salutations practice to savor!

These bite-sized steps are more achievable and help build momentum.

5. Embrace Flexibility

Life is unpredictable and goals may shift. Allow space for evolution and growth, and release any guilt if things don’t go as planned. Gentle goal-setting is about progress, not perfection.

6. Celebrate the Journey

Celebrate every step, no matter how small. Acknowledge your efforts and find joy in the process. Whether it’s treating yourself to a favorite tea, journaling your progress, or simply taking a nap, these moments of celebration keep you motivated and grounded! This step is that often overlooked as we move onto the next thing.

By reflecting on where we’ve been, setting goals that nourish our inner world, and staying flexible in the face of life’s unpredictability, we can craft a year that feels aligned and fulfilling. Whether it’s choosing a word to guide your journey, breaking goals into manageable steps, or savoring the progress you make along the way, let this year be a celebration of the beauty in every stage of the journey. Here’s to a tranquil, transformative 2025!

Ask A Therapist: Feeling Lost

Q: I’ve noticed that as I’ve entered midlife, I’ve been feeling a little lost. I used to have such clear goals and direction, but now I find myself questioning everything. How can I find my way again?

A: It's not uncommon to feel a sense of disorientation or even loss as we age. The physical, emotional, and societal changes that come with this season can stir up questions about identity and direction. This period can feel like a crossroads, but it’s also an invitation for reinvention and deeper self-discovery.

Here are some gentle steps to help you reconnect with your inner compass:

1. Embrace the Pause
   Often, when we feel lost, it's because we’re not giving ourselves enough time to simply be still and listen. Allow yourself to pause, reflect, and recharge. This isn’t time wasted—it’s essential for gaining clarity!

2. Explore What Brings You Joy (Again)
   Sometimes, we lose touch with what nourishes us over time. Revisit hobbies or activities you enjoyed in the past, or try something new. Reconnecting with your passions can reignite a sense of purpose and direction. It’s helped me embrace my inner ballerina and twirl on stage into my 50s!

3. Practice Self-Compassion
   It’s easy to become frustrated with ourselves during periods of transition, but remember that it’s okay to feel uncertain. You’re not expected to have everything figured out right now. Be gentle with yourself, just as you would with a dear friend.

4. Seek Support
   If the feeling of being lost continues, talking with a friend, therapist, or joining a supportive group can help provide clarity. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone! Click here to join the waitlist for my upcoming Midlife Salon.

5. Trust the Process
   Midlife is a time of growth, not just in the sense of achieving external goals, but in the deepening of self-awareness and wisdom. Trust that you are on the right path, even if it’s not always clear. It’s one step in front of the other.

Remember, it’s not about “finding” your way again, but allowing yourself to redefine it—on your own terms, with patience, and oodles of self-compassion.

Event Giveaway

I’m giving away a pair of tickets to see actress and model @brookeshields at @sixthandi to talk about her memoir, Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old, with OB/GYN and Certified Menopause Practitioner @smalonemd.

Here’s how to enter:

- Follow @tranquilitydujour and @sixthandi on Instagram
- Like this post
- Tag a friend in the comments
- Extra entry if you share in your story and tag us

Giveaway runs now through January 20 and one lucky winner will be selected from among all eligible entries received and announced by January 21. I’ll reach out via Instagram direct message. Good luck!

Tea with Kimberly Videos

An assortment of nourishing videos to support your journey

In this Tea with Kimberly playlist, you’ll find nearly 70 videos designed to support you in welcoming the new year, practicing mindfulness, building your tranquility toolkit, and more!

Grab your journal, a cuppa tea, and be inspired to reflect this time of the year. You’ll find more Tea with Kimberly videos over on the Tranquility du Jour YouTube channel.

How I Can Support You

Tranquility Coterie yearlong program (waitlist)

Download a digital course

Subscribe to my Private Substack Collection

Browse my books and planners

1:1 Coaching & Therapy

About Me

Hello! I'm a psychotherapist in Washington, DC, author of seven lifestyle books (next one on midlife), and host of the Tranquility Coterie. I’m in love with my 50s, ballet, pigs, pugs, and orangutans (random mix, I know!). I support women in finding more balance, beauty, and tranquility during this second half of life. More on my website and on Instagram.

A portion of all offerings support Pigs & Pugs Project, Borneo Orangutan Survival, and 1% for the Planet. Thank you for helping to make a difference!